This just in; Life is not perfect.
This also just in; Life doesn’t always go your way.
Those are tough pills for many to swallow, but necessary ones to take in order to enjoy life more fully.
Often, we base our expectations of life on how it should all fall into place just the way we want it to. We frequently have a fluctuating attitude in life, determined by “as long as everything goes according to plan, I’ll be happy.” Or the classic “I’ll be happy when ______” trap. I’ll be happy when I get that promotion, perfect mate, lose 10 pounds, or when I hit all the traffic lights just right. To be honest, if that’s your attitude, you’ll be happy when your dead.
What a way to let yourself down. You may as well invite disappointment over for dinner and ask it to hang out for a while.
So much to enjoy, but we choose to stay disappointed and disgruntled because we don’t have the foresight to see that life is going to happen the way it wants to happen, whether we want it to or not.
Are there certain aspects and events of life we have control over? Well, we have that illusion anyways. We also have the ability to sway the odds in our favor for certain occurrences happening the way we’d like them too.
Ultimately, we have no control over any of it though.
Before I hear you sigh “Oh, crap”, I want to inform you that knowing you ultimately have no control over the final outcome of events in your life can be one of the most freeing feelings and pieces of information I could give you. Living a life that is free of the expectations of the way life “should be” allows you to simply stand back and experience it for what it is. It’s okay to experience emotions for the way life “is”, and to embrace and allow all the happiness, sorrow, anger, and grief to happen as a result. We just don’t need to create those feelings unnecessarily if we don’t have to. It takes away from observing things as they unfold, and in doing that we see life for what it really is. Wonderful.
So relax. Nothing is under control. Enjoy it today.
For years I wandered through the Southwest deserts, walked endless beaches seeking the wisdom of the ocean, and climbed many mountains on pilgrimages to find out who I was. I thought, and thought. I searched, I prayed. I tried to figure the answer out. Then I thought some more. No go. Then I discovered something.
There is a sense we all have of who we are, I mean, who we really are. Not the “I wish I was” version of ourselves that society or our family imposes upon us, but the God given version of who we were created to be like. I think that God given version is more of a guideline though than an actual destination. I don’t think there’s a “perfect you” ending point. I think the “perfect you” version is now. Right now. This moment. A non-perfect, mistake making, lesson learning, “it’s all about the journey, not the destination” version of yourself.
As I searched more, I found that I was creating my life, based upon the person I was created to be like, vs. “finding out” who I was. I sat down and decided to come up with a plan to simply become the man I wanted to be. The man I was created to be. I wanted to exude love, so I started exuding love. I wanted to help those around me and make the World a better place, so I started making the World around me a better place. I wanted to become a better mentor, and, well, you get the point… It sounds stupidly easy and simple, almost childish. But it is what it is, and it worked.
Without having to expend the energies involved with racking my brains over finding myself, I used that energy to proactively write my own story. In my old story, I was timid. In my new book, I was strong. I was happy, I was loving, I was, I was, I was… whatever I wanted to be. I help to create my life, and keep open to changes and circumstances that might put me in a different direction. I’m the author. I can do that. Really. I’m allowed. And so are you. YOU help to create your sense of purpose. The seeds have been planted from a higher source. Water them. Put them in the sun, and pull the weeds out when they need to be. When your harvest comes in, share it.
Who do you want to be? What new story do you want to write? How can you create your life starting now?
Let me be your tour guide to life. I'm the author of "Learning to be Human Again", and just like you, I'm still happily trying to figure this wonderful life out.